40 weeks.

So - I truly have TOO much to do today to even think about writing this.  But I have to get these feelings down - I think it's good therapy for me.  And I think I'll enjoy looking back at the silliness of these feelings one day.

I'm 40 weeks today.  I'm there.  I'm SO close.  I have seriously had the most amazing pregnancy.  I have had NO issues, no complications, nothing bad... and I am so blessed and I thank God for this ability every day.  I truly do.  But for some reason, I am just so sad today.  I woke up a little weepy, I cried through my shower, I cried while putting on my make up (not easy), I cried on my way to work  (2 hours late - awesome) and I'm crying now.  I don't know WHY I'm so sad.  I have nothing to be sad about.  I have a miracle in my belly and it is going to enter this world ANY day now.  I know that.  I know I know I know.  I know I should just be happy and thankful and just feel blessed to have every extra day to soak up some Parker and Chris time.  I don't know.  I have so many friends, family members, and blog friends I've never met who are unable to conceive, who have had miscarriages, who have had stillborn births....  They may never experience this amazing-ness.  And this all makes me feel even more guilty for feeling sad today.  But I just do. 

This entire pregnancy, I have OF COURSE been excited about the baby being born - but I've been pretty content just being pregnant... because pregnancy has been virtually pain free and EASY.  But this past week, I just started to realize that I am ready and just WANT to meet this  precious baby!  I am ready to bring him or her home.  I am ready for the sleepless nights ahead of me.  I am ready to experience the awesome-ness of breast feeding again.  I am ready for the bloody nipples (sorry for the graphic detail).  I am ready for the labor.  I am ready to experience my second child's skin-to-skin touch within seconds after "it" leaves my body.  I am ready for my mom to come take care of me - and then for Chris' mom to come take care of me the next week.  I am ready.  I am ready.  I just want this baby here.  I.  Am.  Just.  Ready. 

Oh - and I spilt my coffee all over my shirt on my way in to work today.  And yes - I cried about it.

Sorry - this post is pretty selfish - and silly - I'm sure you all think I'm nuts - and that's OK.  But I actually feel a little better now.  I'm off to accomplish a VERY busy day at work.  :)