I started last week writing about some really random stuff - that was a little funny (maybe) and just something different than the normal "look at how cute my precious son is" blog. :) I think I started an entire blog entry devoted to my retainer I try to wear 2x a week - but never do - and how I have nightmares about once or twice a month that I wake up with terrible teeth. And I started another blog about the addiction I used to have to the tanning bed and how much I miss it sometimes but how ANTI-tanning bed I am now. After reading through a half-finished post - I think about how incredibly shallow I sound.
I don't mean that I want every blog entry to be this profound statement to my faith or something incredible that will make people want to change the way they live... I just look at my blog entires and think "is this really what is blogging up my head all the time - is this really the information that needs to get out of my head?" I mean - there are thousands of mommies, daddies, babies, etc trapped underneath buildings in Haiti - and my thoughts are centered around my previous tanning bed addiciton or my vain thoughts on having crooked teeth one day. Seriously?
OK - so - how am I going to change - I have no idea. And I am sure that my inside dialogue will always have something shallow in it - right? I mean - don't we all have random, stupid things floating around in our heads?
Another reason I may possibly be in this little blunder is because of all the negative I feel like I am constantly hearing. One part of me wants to never turn on the news EVER again. Another part of me feels like I need to be aware of what is happening in the world and be praying for those in need and be thankful for my incredibly blessed life! Lately - I am spending MORE time in my car to and from work than I actually SEE my son in one day (Tears form up in my eyes as I write this very thought.) Another negative thing we are dealing with as family right now is Buddie.
I know I've blogged about Buddie before... here is the latest on him.
- We've taken him to the vet to get checked. Spent about $200-$300 to get blood work done - just be be told that they have no idea what is wrong with him - but that something DEFINITELY is wrong with him. We could take him to another vet - and another vet - and another vet - for more opinions - or to GVS to spend THOUSANDS of $$ to see what his issue is.
- Their best guess to his symptoms and blood work and urinalisys was that he has Cushing's disease... which the test to see if he has Cushing's disease is about $300 and IF he does have it - then we could be spending about $500+ a month to keep him alive/comfortable.
- It's NO DOUBT that Buddie is in pain sometimes. NOT all the time - but sometimes. He is a slave to CONSTANTLY smelling like pee - because he pees about once every 5 minutes - all day long. He will also drink 2 gallons of water every hour if you let him. We have to keep water from him when we are home so that he doesn't pee constantly all over our 9 month old carpet.
- We know he's SOMETIMES in pain because he has tremors every once in awhile - he LIVES in a pee-filled crate and he even walks around with his eyes closed sometimes. He also PACES the house constantly when he's not outside or crated up. He sits down in one place - 5 seconds later (literally) he's up and gone to find a new place. That one doesn't feel right either so he changes again. He can hardly EVER find a place to sit for more than a few minutes. Then - when he finally does find a place that is comfy enough - he's up and at the door to go out again. GOD FORBID Chris or I are playing with Parker or not in the same room. If we don't see him go to the door - within about 2 minutes - he will pee all over the floor next to the door - OR - go somewhere else in the house and pee. Then he goes and sulks in a corner because he knows he's done something terrible.
- We have resorted to keeping him in his crate all day - and all night - except for when we are home - when he is a on a lead outside in the back yard or free in the house - but then we are forced to constantly follow him around to make sure he's not peeing/throwing up/pooping. Sure - we could get a fence - that will cost at least $3,000.00 and keep him outside. But we definitey don't have that kind of cash to throw at a fence and we will not go in debt for a fence either.
- Our life literally consist of constantly wondering where Buddie is - where he has thrown up or peed last and who is going to clean it up this time.
Buddie is OUR dog that we chose to have and who we both love so much. He was our child before we had Parker and when he was about a year or so old - we spent about $1,000 to $2,000 to figure out some issues he had then - then later figured out he had been eating the FREON in the AC unit behind our house at the time. We put a gate around the AC unit and VOILA - no more issues with Buddie. After that - we PROMISED each other we would never spend that kind of money on a pet again. We just cannot do it. We do not have the financial stability to rake out $100 here and $100 there on our pet. Maybe a year or two ago - I would have disagreed and would have done whatever possible to help a pet - but after having a child - EVERYTHING is thrown into perspective and your viewpoint just changes.
And it's not like we can just find him a new home. "Yes - here is my incredibly cute dog, Buddie. And yes - he has very serious health issues and you may spend hundreds/thousands of dollars in the next few weeks or years to figure out what is wrong with him. Or he may die tomorrow."
I don't want Buddie to live in pain.
I don't want to go into debt to try and save him.
I don't want to live in a pee-filled house.
I don't want to kill my dog.
What would you do? Help...
5 comments:
Sweet Hillary...I feel like I was reading my own blog when I read yours. First, I've struggled with the same thing these last two weeks...posting things that seem so inconsequential when you think about Haiti. It just breaks my heart.
Second, we've had our own dog issues..mostly behavioral over the last few months and struggled with what to do. I'm so sad to hear that your Buddie is so sick. I know it's hard to think about life without him and putting him to sleep...I guess if you really feel like he's suffering, it's the right thing to do, but I know that's a hard decision to make. I'll be praying for y'all and your struggle. You are not alone :)
Hillary, Looks like we are all in the same boat (posting not-so-fun posts and struggling to answer tough decisions). I know that you will make the right decision by Buddie. That being said, it sounds like he is in a lot of pain and it's not pain that will end without a miracle or lots of expense on your end. Also, what kind of life does he have now? I know that it's sad. He's your pre-baby baby. And maybe I'm not the best person to weigh in on this (I've unfortunately had several pets die untimely deaths). It's a hard decision and I wish you the best.
Hey Hillary,
I had a dog that had cushings disease...call me later on your way home from work and we can talk, I'll be praying for you throughout the day today.
Hillary, just wanted to let you know I'm thinking about you and praying for you guys. If you need to talk or anything at all, you know my number :) OR if you just need me to come play with your adorable son, I'm game for that too :)
Hill
It was hard for me to read your post because as we are still pre-baby, I cannot imagine getting to a point where we can no longer make the kind of sacrifices we presently make for our 3 pups:( I know it must be so hard for you to even think of the options that are bouncing around right now.
I can add a little bit of info that might help. We fenced our yard right before we bought out house, on a half acre lot, with the 6 ft. privacy style. Considering the size of our yard and the fact that it was wooden, it was 3000...If i remember correctly, your yard is smaller than that. The chainlink fences are much less expensive. We hired a company to come out and build it....but with a consturction oriented hubby like yours, you could buy the pre-fab pieces from lowes and i am sure that in a weekend chris could erect it himself for a much less expensive price. It seems like a bit of work, and a price you might not like now but also think that in a year you might really wish you had a fence when Parker starts running around!!
Just some ideas, I hate that you are in such a hard situation but I will be praying that what is best for your family and Buddie becomes apparent soon!
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